I'm fucking tired of it. I'm writing this because I'm not going to tell everyone one by one.
Therefore, you all can read it and complain. Leave me a million comments in my journal,
try to make me feel bad, spread rumors. WHATEVER. I'm mean, because I'm tired of getting
If you complain, leave your name please. so I can respond...in mean-ness...
My Hardcore Babii: I love you. You have no idea. I've never actually admitted all those things to anyone like I did to you that night on the phone. I enjoyed actually talking about it, even though I cried. I met you at the Korn concert, I want it to stay that way. I don't want us to change. I love hanging out with you and taking pictures. I love being dorks and making faces and saying stupid phrases like "You Know what time it is?! HARDCORE TIME". I love making fun of people with you, because you tell it how it is. If you don't like it, you'll tell them to fuck off. You're soo pretty and I love the pictures that you take. With the boob shot and you puffed your cheeks out.lmao I still have that saved to my computer. That pictures that I made of me and you. I love you and I can't wait to see you again. My oh, My Oh, My Oh, My Oh, My BoOoOoOoO. <3<3<3
"Tell her to eat a cookie and shut up."
Erkan: Yeah, you're on here too. Don't think that I don't care, because I do. I like talking to you about stuff. You're someone I can really connect with. I can talk to you about anything because your reactions to stuff is great. Collecting carts with you was awesome.lol And we got in trouble because we were running. CAN I DYE YOUR HAIR BLUE?! I'LL CUT IT! lmao. You rock. I'm always here for you. I hope we can be better friends and such.<3
James, Rich, and the "Christine Haters", or USED to be: It thrilled me when you hated me. But like I said, I'm not changing for anyone so you might as well keep hating me because, the amount of damage all of you caused isn't going to just go away. I still have the scars. Don't just befriend me and expect all trust to just appear. No. FUCK THAT. So go on and hate me if you must, but honestly I don't giva fuck!!! I don't need to be made to feel bad. Hate to break it to you, but you're all backstabbers. All of you talk shit on one another and get mad at eachother for stupid shit. And then, when you find a reasonable time to 'try' and prove yourself right, you go and ignore them. Then talk shit behind their back, pretending to be their friend. I'm glad I strangeled, yelled, beat the shit out of, and treated some of you like shit. Because, I've never acted like that before and in that case, some of you fucking deserved it.
Jackie: I've been trying to be here for you as I much as I can. I miss you and I hope you're alright because, you can't use the phone so, we don't talk as much as we use to. I can't really say anything, but the same that I said for my Hardcore Babii goes to you.I miss you babe, and I hope we can hang soon.Don't ever change and if anything every happens to you, you know my fucking number.<3<3<3
Kate: What the fuck would I do without you?Me and you have the best inside Jokes. "Murder Inc."-"Eugene"-"Got Down?"-"Scrupple"-"Battle Buddy"-"Don't Spill your fruit loops"-. I love you<3 And All the brian's in the world, should fucking die. RUBBER DUCKIE<3 RUBBER GLOVE
Kally: You're my girlfriend for a reason. I know it seems like sometimes I don't care, I really do. If anything happened to you I'd probably kick myself in the face. I'm always here for you, and I'm always here if you need someone to talk to. I love writing letters to you and the expression on peoples faces when we kiss in the hall.<3
Jimmy<3: Sometimes I can't believe if you like me or not. I don't know why. I feel bad like, I think I have something to do with you hating that girl Pluta. Or whoever she is. I really like you, not like obsessed but you have a clue. But in the back of my head I have like, Kiker saying that all you do is play games. Ahh. I don't know. *sigh*Just forget it and find some other girl...
BRIAN MONTFORD: I'm not even going to fucking get to you. All I ever did for you and this is how you fucking treat me? I was there for you whenever you fucking needed me, and you turn around and tell people it's because I don't care. PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME HURT YOU. That's not even fucking cool. Such a cool kid like you, in such a "cool band". But you're a tool. You don't know your real friends even if they stood in your fucking face. I hate you.
and last but not least...
Brittany, herself:I'm sorry all of these things are happening to you, but I can't take it anymore. I'm tired of it. I'm not taking it anymore, I'm fucking fed up. NOW I'M NOT CARING. Every since you told me I didn't care, I thought to myself you had no idea what the fuck you were talking about, just looking for me so you can tell me what a fucked up job I was doing as a friend. I took it, felt bad about it and tried to change myself. I 'realized' (Wow, that word again) that I don't need to change anything. I didn't need to feel bad about anything, because I didn't do anything. All those times, when you called me a...
D. Asshole(That seemed like a big one).
E. A Bad Friend.
F.Didn't know what I was doing.
G. Didn't know what I was talking about.
H. Didn't get it.
I. Didn't understand.
L. Talking to me doesn't make you in a better mood.
M. Go Away.
N. and said that I don't care.
Let's see what I called you or said to you that made you feel like shit:
HOLY SHIT. Would you look at that! I asked you to stop and you told me I deserved everything you said to me. Two days before Fear Factory, you ditched me. I can't even count how many National Gothic Days you ditched, I don't think I have enough fingers. When did I ditch you? Once. With Andy. Because you were hanging with Rich and James and didn't seem to acknowledge my existance. Did I ditch you for any major concerts you wanted to go to? NO. I did not. I'm not saying sorry for anything anymore. If I'm being such a bad best friend, then get a new one. Stop making me feel like shit, I don't need it. I don't need to say Hi to you. I don't need to guess what's going on in your life. You have my Number, because if I ask you if you want to talk, or if what's going on, you yell at me, and then I "annoy" you and then we end up back at the top with the name calling, me feeling like shit,and me saying sorry. NOT HAPPENING ANYMORE. I made my mistakes, but for everything you say to make me feel like shit I seem to be saying sorry for. While I was concentrated with your problems, trying to make you feel better I had problems of my own, tearing me up inside.When I told you my uncle stole 10,000 dollars off my grandmom, you didn't seem to say shit about it. Kristine and Brittany and Jackie hold twice as Much information as you, because you never seemed to worry. that's cool because I never asked you to. Now I'm contradicting myself and I hate people who do that. I'm not going to continue a friendship that has these problems. Because, I fought with My sister and she's my sister, but I never said anything to her and she's never said anything to me that made me feel bad like you've said.You say that we treat you bad, that we made you feel horrible and uncomfortable, you make yourself feel uncomfortable. You say that we don't care, when we really do but you won't let us do anything about it.But you've convinced us that we don't care. You've told me and others soooo many times. You think we don't want to be your friend, we do. We have other friends and problems too that we need to handle. And then, holding things against me, like what people have been saying and who said it. You know who that reminds me of? Rich. Be Rich's friend. I don't care, but I see you two don't fight or anything. You two seem to have best friend placements for eachother. That's cool. I'm willing to work all of this out. For once, I am speaking my mind. This has been bottled up inside of me for a long time. If you don't want to work things out and keep them the way they are, then I would like all of my stuff back within' now and the 15th. I still love you with all my heart and I would take my life for you, but I'm not having this feeling anymore. I'm not pretending it's okay.
I'll expect to see a lot of
comments because, yeah.
I wrote things that people are like
"Am I really like that?"
My Mind that I'm speaking.
And Like the song says...
So go on and hate me if you must, but honestly...
I don't giva fuck!!!